Halting HALT

Here it is. Christmas Eve and a whole day of Christmas looming on the horizon. Alone. Friends are out of town, no relationship going on right now, a family mostly dead or about to be, a brother-sister relationship that's delicate, a good friend who's hiding, a beloved cat that just died, what's left?

I've gotten better over the years dealing with being alone on major holidays. But every once in awhile, HALT bites me on holidays like Christmas. So what's HALT? It's what we recovered alcoholics call "Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired." It's what we are suppose to prevent ourselves from becoming in order to make sure we don't drink. I woke up today feeling two of these: Hungry and Lonely. I refuse to run: I have to deal with it.

Getting some sober human connection will take care of my Lonely part. So, I called my brother and my friend in hiding and suggested that we meet up tonight at our community Christmas Alkathon tonight - for the free buffet dinner and the annual Christmas Speakers AA meeting and Sobriety Countdown. (What's a countdown? It's a group countdown of who has the longest and the shortest period of sobriety. Sounds kind of corny and stupid but it's actually fun and sort of tribal.)

That will take care of the Lonely part of HALT. As for the Hungry part, I decided to have a turkey sandwich right now! (It is good: with garlic humus on it rather than mayo. Try it!)

...and so far, as of this hour, I am still sober - after eight years from my last drink. No plans to drink tonight. Merry Christmas and Winter Solstice to everyone!

Mysterious Numbers

This morning Carol called to tell me she woke up today hearing the following numbers in her head: 977922.

She asked me what they mean. I had no idea but copied them and began to reduce them down to a single number - 9, the number of endings of a cycle, a spiritual number, the number of being in service to others.

Half-joking, she asked me if she is going to die. I told her no - but did she recognize these numbers in any way? She didn't. They were not someone's birthday, or phone number, or the date of a significant event in her life, and they were not an address.

I googled these numbers and came up with a dozen possibilities, such as the number of a patent in the Canadian Patent Office, a flat up for rent in Italy, the listing of a mental health counselor job, and a mysterious list of something called GoldenEye agents. The world seemed to be offering a boatload of disconnected possibilities. How could we sort through it all and make sense of it?

The jury is out. Why did Carol hear these numbers?

There are mysterious repetitions of numbers all around. I am a numerology buff.

I will be watching and waiting to learn more.